"Holy Pharkn Cricket, Long Hop " screamed Lamb.
We had to move the Challenge to one of the bigger ovals on the edge of the jungle as we had heard that there were a few people turning up for the days fun. We didn't have any idea how many were there until we walked onto the oval as we arrived. It was packed with at least 20,000 Queenslanders all sitting in the sun and drinking 4064 Squadron beer and eating watermelon. THey all cheered as we walked out to warm up.
We had a team made up of Honoruru, Lamb, Long Hop, Rocky, Dukie, Princess Leah, Camilla and myself and a few of the brothers from the village.
Our opponents for the day were a team made up of the Vaginamites and the Fanny Pack.
The Freckles turned up to be our cheerleaders. They would run around the side of the oval and get the crowd having fun all day.
We were still worried about people having heard about the Tree House gold deposit and would try and make a takeover attempt. We had the "Smulkers" tribe of locals in trees for surveillance and they'd send smoke signals if it looked like anyone else was coming. The Smulkers were called that because they came to parties and smoked like chimneys in the corner and then sulked that no-one would talk to them. Of course we wouldn't talk to them as smoking is so 60's. Honestly. So we made up the name "Smulkers". The Smulkers are also the group of women who invented our special Tree House set of smoke signals for us. They all sat around blowing smoke rings into the air and we were the only ones who knew what it meant.
Anyway, I digress.
Back to the Challenge. Not knowing who would be coming or after us or whether we would have problems with a battle on the way home we took the Pantser. Princess Leah drove and Dukie navigated. Lamb sat on the front in her Cher outfit and we played Billy Bragg on the way.
Honoruru gave us all a groin massage and we got into it.
For the opening we had Captain Bligh giving a speech about the Tree House and then kd Lang sang " Oh Canada". As kd came back to listen to Kevin Rudd talk Princess Leah said "this is Australia and it's a pharkn cricket gamel". kd looked at Princess and said "I wondered how you gals were going to play baseball on this strip". Talk about pharkn inappropriate but Princess has worked with tradesman all her lifer.
The Vaginamites and the Fanny Pack batted first. Long Hop opened with Rocky. She got 2 for 60 off her first 8 overs. Rocky bowled with Long Hump and got the next 3 in her overs for 35. Princess Leah bowled with me she and got 2 for 80 off 8 overs. I was wicketless but it didn't matter.
That left us with the tail to bowl. They wagged and wagged and wagged. It was giving us the shits and Princess jumped in with the AK. "Righteo" you pharkers and she took them both out. That was done. The crowd were a bit shocked but the Match Umpire, Steve Bucknor had no qualms with it. He is blind as a bat and deaf as a post and we just carted 2 dead bodies off the pitch and they were all out for 200.
Next we were into bat. Lamb was keen to show the value of hewr wicket and got 69. Dukie was a great partner for Lamb and just plodded along to 25 whilst Lamb showed some flair. Honoruru jumped in and hit 3 sixes before she was lbw. I walked to the wicket and hit 5 fours and then a single to get to the other end. Then I hit six sixes off the next over. Phark I was having fun as the bolwer changed.
Honoruru hit one straight to silly mid-on and it was over.
The freckles were nearly doing their poofer valves cheering. The Vaginamites and the Fanny Pack were not happy.
Long Hop started to walk out and we knew this would be the end . Long Hop would finish it all off for us.
I was standing at the bowler's end and I looked up at the sky.
The Smulkers were sending a message.
Trouble at the Tree House and get home soon. I passed Long Hop after her first single and told her we'd be out of there.
Princess Leah and Dukie must have known what was going on and next thing the Pantser was in the middle of the pitch with "You Shook Me All Night Long" belting out.
Long Hop hadn't been a part of a battle before but grabbed her and told her to get on board. Lamb had the AK-47 screaming and we were outta there.
It would take us ten minutes to get home and we were busy putting on our battle gear. I Heard Lamb telling Long Hop her cricket pads and helmet would be fine as we'd look after her.
We approached the Tree House and we could see Mav and Goose were over the top of us. Bella had obviously called them and they'd seen the smoke signals.
It is going to go off tonight. I was half plastered and so was everyone else. The brothers were with us and we had cricket bats, grenades, bullets, gin and tonic, the Vaginamites had the camels (despite the fact Princess Leah had shot two of them) and we were off.
By the time we got to the Tree House Neil Young was singing "Rockin in the Free World" and we were ready.
Lets get going girls. Lets phark 'em royally.
Tell you tomorrow what happens as I have to go now and look after my Labia.
Lukie S Walker
XXXXXXX
We had to move the Challenge to one of the bigger ovals on the edge of the jungle as we had heard that there were a few people turning up for the days fun. We didn't have any idea how many were there until we walked onto the oval as we arrived. It was packed with at least 20,000 Queenslanders all sitting in the sun and drinking 4064 Squadron beer and eating watermelon. THey all cheered as we walked out to warm up.
We had a team made up of Honoruru, Lamb, Long Hop, Rocky, Dukie, Princess Leah, Camilla and myself and a few of the brothers from the village.
Our opponents for the day were a team made up of the Vaginamites and the Fanny Pack.
The Freckles turned up to be our cheerleaders. They would run around the side of the oval and get the crowd having fun all day.
We were still worried about people having heard about the Tree House gold deposit and would try and make a takeover attempt. We had the "Smulkers" tribe of locals in trees for surveillance and they'd send smoke signals if it looked like anyone else was coming. The Smulkers were called that because they came to parties and smoked like chimneys in the corner and then sulked that no-one would talk to them. Of course we wouldn't talk to them as smoking is so 60's. Honestly. So we made up the name "Smulkers". The Smulkers are also the group of women who invented our special Tree House set of smoke signals for us. They all sat around blowing smoke rings into the air and we were the only ones who knew what it meant.
Anyway, I digress.
Back to the Challenge. Not knowing who would be coming or after us or whether we would have problems with a battle on the way home we took the Pantser. Princess Leah drove and Dukie navigated. Lamb sat on the front in her Cher outfit and we played Billy Bragg on the way.
Honoruru gave us all a groin massage and we got into it.
For the opening we had Captain Bligh giving a speech about the Tree House and then kd Lang sang " Oh Canada". As kd came back to listen to Kevin Rudd talk Princess Leah said "this is Australia and it's a pharkn cricket gamel". kd looked at Princess and said "I wondered how you gals were going to play baseball on this strip". Talk about pharkn inappropriate but Princess has worked with tradesman all her lifer.
The Vaginamites and the Fanny Pack batted first. Long Hop opened with Rocky. She got 2 for 60 off her first 8 overs. Rocky bowled with Long Hump and got the next 3 in her overs for 35. Princess Leah bowled with me she and got 2 for 80 off 8 overs. I was wicketless but it didn't matter.
That left us with the tail to bowl. They wagged and wagged and wagged. It was giving us the shits and Princess jumped in with the AK. "Righteo" you pharkers and she took them both out. That was done. The crowd were a bit shocked but the Match Umpire, Steve Bucknor had no qualms with it. He is blind as a bat and deaf as a post and we just carted 2 dead bodies off the pitch and they were all out for 200.
Next we were into bat. Lamb was keen to show the value of hewr wicket and got 69. Dukie was a great partner for Lamb and just plodded along to 25 whilst Lamb showed some flair. Honoruru jumped in and hit 3 sixes before she was lbw. I walked to the wicket and hit 5 fours and then a single to get to the other end. Then I hit six sixes off the next over. Phark I was having fun as the bolwer changed.
Honoruru hit one straight to silly mid-on and it was over.
The freckles were nearly doing their poofer valves cheering. The Vaginamites and the Fanny Pack were not happy.
Long Hop started to walk out and we knew this would be the end . Long Hop would finish it all off for us.
I was standing at the bowler's end and I looked up at the sky.
The Smulkers were sending a message.
Trouble at the Tree House and get home soon. I passed Long Hop after her first single and told her we'd be out of there.
Princess Leah and Dukie must have known what was going on and next thing the Pantser was in the middle of the pitch with "You Shook Me All Night Long" belting out.
Long Hop hadn't been a part of a battle before but grabbed her and told her to get on board. Lamb had the AK-47 screaming and we were outta there.
It would take us ten minutes to get home and we were busy putting on our battle gear. I Heard Lamb telling Long Hop her cricket pads and helmet would be fine as we'd look after her.
We approached the Tree House and we could see Mav and Goose were over the top of us. Bella had obviously called them and they'd seen the smoke signals.
It is going to go off tonight. I was half plastered and so was everyone else. The brothers were with us and we had cricket bats, grenades, bullets, gin and tonic, the Vaginamites had the camels (despite the fact Princess Leah had shot two of them) and we were off.
By the time we got to the Tree House Neil Young was singing "Rockin in the Free World" and we were ready.
Lets get going girls. Lets phark 'em royally.
Tell you tomorrow what happens as I have to go now and look after my Labia.
Lukie S Walker
XXXXXXX
1 comment:
Phark we had fun, you write it just as it was a fun time with lots of drinks and groin rubs.....Keep up the good work lukie
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