Dig Lazarus Dig

"Holy Pharkn lots more water Dukie" screamed Lamb.

Next thing everyone was down underneath the Tree House and all hell had broken loose.

Dukie was backing the Pantser in after a training run through the jungle and she had backed into our water mains. The jungle had only just dried out and now we had water 20m high gushing from a hole beside the house.

Lamb was busy trying to engineer a fix when Dukie and Princess ran in and jumped on top of the water. "This wil fix it" they screamed in unison with big smiles on their faces.

"Get outta there you two before you do some sooorious damage to yourselves and your bajinas" I screamed.

Dukie and Princess Leah fell over laughing, covered in mud and still smiling. I am a Dr but I wont fix that kind of damage. Well maybe I'd take a look at it.

We turned the water off down the road and then stood looking at this great mud heap with water still seeping out.

I had no idea what to do but I knew the girls would fix it. I was walking upstairs when I heard Honoruru scream "that's gold in that water girls".Honorur grabbed a hand full of nuggets to prove it.

I raced back downstairs and looked and for sure and for certain there were huge gold nuggets in the water. Honoruru started laughing as this kind of discovery would mean we could reap rich rewards from the Tree House. The other side of the coin was that a filthy big mining company would be in here with government approval and destroy the joint.

We had to decide what we do. True to form we grabbed a heap of 4064 Squadron beer and sat down to discuss our options. We put some "Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds" on the stereo.

We decidely unanimously that we'd keep this a secret and discuss it with one of the local elders, Lazarus. He got the name as he was as strong as an ox.

The next morning we would let him know what was going on and as the traditional owner of the land we were temporarily inhabiting we'd let him decide. The most important thing was that if this to result in major investment from outside companies we would want to administer the project, any royalties and we'd insist on the highest degree of accountability. Luckily we have experience in these things and the last thing we'd let them do is hide behind some inept reporting scheme or a generic scheme such as ISO 14001. Five ticks on a letterhead doesn't mean much at all when you are pulling a pristine landscape apart and walking away with no responsibility to fix it properly.

Just as our discussions on that were finishing we realised we had no water. We had loads of beer and plenty of spirits from The Labia and mixers to go with it. But we had no water.

I suggested we should fill the hot tub with Gin and Tonic and Lemons. "Well we've got five lemons here already that we'll throw in" screamed Dukie and Princess Leah in unison as they fell over laughing again.

Well I think that is a fine idea. So we filled the hot tub with Gin and Tonic and the lemons jumped in.

This is going to make for some sticky hammocks tonight at the Tree House.

Goodnight Girls.

LS Walker

XXX