I had been asleep in my hammock until late morning and had no idea that Dukie and Princess Leah had taken the ice cream van out. The Postie and the Rollercoaster were still in town getting paint washed off the windscreens and so the girls must have taken the van out.
Then I heard the Beast. I couldn't work out what was happening as Dukie must be on the bike.
I raced downstairs to see what was going on. Princess Leah was reversing the van and it sounded like their was a real riot in the back of it. Dukie pulled in and she was covered in cow shit. You could hardly see her eyes as her glasses and helmet were covered in it too.
As Princess Leah opened the back of the truck Dukie swept into action and started screaming "whoa up, get up their you bastards" as she waved her hands round.
Two camels jumped out the back of the truck and started running down into the jungle. It must be camel shit that Dukie was covered in.
I couldn't believe what was happening but then again this is the Tree House and this is Princess Leah and Dukie.
"What the phark are you pair up to?" I screamed in disbelief.
"Well you wouldn't believe it Dr Skywalker" said Princess as she stood with her hands on her hips and gave me that "you wouldn't believe it if we told you Dr Skywalker" look.
Dukie started with "we heard that the Saudi Royal Family are coming to Australia to start a camel racing competition". Princess Leah conveniently finished it for her with "and we are going to go in it!! How pahrkn cool is that Luke".
I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I thought I'd laugh as crying was a bit of overkill.
They said they had two boy camels so we couldn't be implicated in any feral camel problem and they had been thinking about it for ages. They went out to the desert this afternoon and Dukie rounded up these two on the Beast. Then they shoved them in the ice cream van and Princess drove them home. She said it was a pretty mad ride with them shoved in the back but she stopped every hour and gave them a double cone with chocolate and nuts on it so they were relatively happy. The RSPCA couldn't get us on "camel cruelty" if they'd been fed ice cream every hour surely.
Straight away my mind was going into overdrive with the logistics of the whole thing and how we might be able to fund a decent camel racing campaign. Apparently Honoruru had been a party to this and she had guaranteed the girls we'd be able to get the best of everything to make sure we'd win.
Money is one thing, Honoruru, but dedication and effort and most importantly knowledge was another.
They said they had two boy camels so we couldn't be implicated in any feral camel problem and they had been thinking about it for ages. They went out to the desert this afternoon and Dukie rounded up these two on the Beast. Then they shoved them in the ice cream van and Princess drove them home. She said it was a pretty mad ride with them shoved in the back but she stopped every hour and gave them a double cone with chocolate and nuts on it so they were relatively happy. The RSPCA couldn't get us on "camel cruelty" if they'd been fed ice cream every hour surely.
Straight away my mind was going into overdrive with the logistics of the whole thing and how we might be able to fund a decent camel racing campaign. Apparently Honoruru had been a party to this and she had guaranteed the girls we'd be able to get the best of everything to make sure we'd win.
Money is one thing, Honoruru, but dedication and effort and most importantly knowledge was another.
Princess Leah said she had spoken to the "Vaginamites" over in the northern quarter of the jungle. The "Vaginamites" were so called because they are a tribe of lesbians that broke into a supermarket and the only thing they stole was "Vegemite". After spending ten years looking after camels in the Saudi desert for some soooriously rich people they returned to Australia. The one thing they missed more than anything was Vegemite and as soon as they got off the plane from the Middle East they wanted some. It was the middle of the night and none of the shops were open so they broke in to the Paddington IGA and stole cartons of the black crap. They were caught but escaped and came to hide in the jungle. The Tree Housers looked after them for the first year and then Dukie and Princess Leah made a deal with the local supermarket and Bargearse that the Vaginamites would clean the shop windows in payback for their crime. So they owed us and they knew what they were doing in terms of camel racing. They'd help us for sure.
I loved it. Another pharkn ridiculous thing that the Tree Housers will undertake just to prove that life is not a dress rehearsal.
"Do we have any names for them girls?" I asked.
"Well we thought we thought we'd call them Daz and Kylie" said Dukie. Princess Leah did that fall on the floor and laugh thing for a few minutes and I let her go.
So the Tree House now has 2 camels called Daz and Kylie. Go figure.
Just keep those snorting, spitting things away from Lamb and her AK-47. No camels on the back deck. No camels in the kitchen. No camels in my Labia. No camels anywhere near me.
I love you girls.
Luke Skywalker
XXXXXXXXXX
"Do we have any names for them girls?" I asked.
"Well we thought we thought we'd call them Daz and Kylie" said Dukie. Princess Leah did that fall on the floor and laugh thing for a few minutes and I let her go.
So the Tree House now has 2 camels called Daz and Kylie. Go figure.
Just keep those snorting, spitting things away from Lamb and her AK-47. No camels on the back deck. No camels in the kitchen. No camels in my Labia. No camels anywhere near me.
I love you girls.
Luke Skywalker
XXXXXXXXXX
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