Rollerderby Rocker

"What a pharkn day" screamed the Princess as she entered the Tree House. Dukie just looked up and smiled that secret "very much big havoc" smile. They must be up to something, I thought. Princess Leah still had her tool belt on and that meant trouble.

Whatever it was I knew that they hadn't been near the VW as I had that under lock and key. I also had brewed some very explosive fuel just for my engine out in the Labia. I was hoping they had been under the hood of the ice cream machine and were pharking Lamb's chances of winning the Tree House Challenge.

We still didn't have a kick-off time and the longer these girls left it the more of a chance I had of preparing the VW and winning. China also was trying to convince us she should be allowed in the race on her skates but we told her she could start the race and then skate into town and wave the chequered flag. Skating through the jungle with 6 cars out of control on the roads was not an option. She is the meanest woman on 8 wheels but we didn't need an accident that would hurt her.

I had been gardening all day yesterday, followed by some soorious roller derby training with China Rhino and Princess Leah. I couldn't participate much as I had something wrong with my head that was affecting my balance but Princess Leah and China Rhino were having some significant biffs out on the track. It showed today as Princess Leah was black and blue from head to toe and having some major issues moving. Investment in a new outfit was also required as China had spent most of the session trying to rip her Princess robes off.

Just as Princess was cooking us some lasagna for dinner Lamb walked in and gave us a spray about something or other. Lamb sounded sooriously angry.

Princess stopped cooking and said "son of a motherless goat, pharkn bejesus Lamb". I was ignoring it all when Lamb pulled out her AK-47 and let spray in the kitchen. Dukie raced in and jumped on top of Lamb and stopped the firing. Princess had managed to collect every bullet in a roll of "Glad Wrap". Princess has the reflexes of a cat and there wasn't a bullet hole to be seen. The Glad Wrap was smoking!!

I couldn't stop laughing as Princess said "that was so pharkn cool, can we do it again please Lamb?".

It turned out Lamb had left the safety catch off the AK-47 and it was a dangerous mistake as she only wanted to threaten the Princess. We sat Lamb down and she explained that she had heard from Bella that Princess Leah and Duke had organised a twenty20 cricket match in town and had selected chicks from the "Fanny Pack" to open the batting and bowling. These were usually Lamb's positions but she hadn't been playing so well lately so the girls wanted some new talent. I could understand it as everywhere in Australian cricket there was the call for new talent. We had sponsors to think of and in trying to sell the rights to international TV we needed the best and fastest. Princess Leah and Duke were only doing their jobs as cricket selectors to look after all the stakeholders.

After we poured Lamb a big Chambord she settled down and could see what was happening and why. We sat down and had dinner on the back deck and discussed what we'd do to get Lamb back into top form.

We put the AK-47 to bed and Lamb with it. We hopped into our hammocks and let the cool breeze whip through the Tree House. This was a welcome relief after the last few weeks of hot and still nights.

Goodnight girls,

Lukie

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