Camilla Gonzalez

"Holy pharkn dirty Tree House" screamed the Princess as she wandered out into the lounge room.

Daz and Kylie, the new Tree House camels had broken the rules and made it onto the back deck overnight. They had broken into the back deck and into our beer fridge. Dukie and Princess had been teaching them how to open and drink beer and they were out cold in the jungle below.

Lucky as it was 36 degrees and mental humidity. Being awake was absolute hell.

There were 300 loads of washing, a tonne of unpacked crockery, cutlery, saucepans and kitchen stuff we had collected from one of our other houses that need to be unpacked, 200 CD's on the floor that were being loaded onto our new server and entertainment system, company papers and research stuff everywhere.

"This place looks like a brothel on half price night" screamed Princess Leah. She has a way with words.

Princess Leah did most of the cleaning and then I chipped in with some effort in between working on "technology stuff".We had won some major deals in the last week and things were really taking off.

Finally we did enough cleaning but the Tree House was really overflowing still. Packing two houses and a company into one was not easy, no matter how big the Tree House was.

In order to deal with the heatwave that had been predicted for Brisvegas this weekend Princess Leah had bought a small inflatable pool of about 3m diameter. She had blown it up a few nights ago and was busy cooling herself down in a white singlet and little else. Her idea was that a white singlet competition was a good Sunday afternoon, post-cleaning activity and I had to admit it was good entertainment. I just admired her eyes and gave her a bottle of chocolate sauce for her effort.

Honoruru emerged from the Casting Couch late as she'd had a big night and decided she'd start interviewing for a cleaner for the Tree House. Honoruru, Lamb and Dukie started on their list of questions whilst Princess Leah and I tested the chocolate sauce.

The Interview List

Sex:

Sexuality:

Weight:

Height:

Bra Size:

Leg Length:

Previous Employment History:

Previous History at Parallel Universe (Name all Babes and Time attached):

Previous history with Camels:

Ability to fix mechanical equipment (Name all engines):

Any experience in a Labia:

Beveridge preference:


Honoruru got on the Telegraph Cucumber and gave Bella a tingle. Honoruru gave every woman a tingle but this was sooorious.

"Bella, this is Madam Honororu and I need 20 hot babes to interview. They must be able to cook and clean and look after the Tree Housers" I heard her say.

I was starting to get worried and I knew what they were up to. I said "Honoruru I need an IQ test as well to satisfy me".

The girls ran out to their hammocks and grabbed their pillows.

"Lukie stop being such an intellectule, boring phark" screamed Dukie. Princess Leah jumped on me first and then their was some massive lesbian pillow action happening.

After a while I screamed "I pharkn surrender".

Bella was obviously listening in the background and was a bit disturbed. Eventually Honoruru said "we won that pillow fight and we need them to know their name, but that is about it Bella".

The next day Bella sent out 20 blindfolded babes to the Tree House. Dukie and Princess Leah picked them up from the Parallel Universe in the Priscilla Bus.

I wasn't part of the interview process as I have no HR skills. I did walk in to the final interview and apparently Dukie had been adding questions of her own to keep up the entertainment. I heard her ask Camilla Gonzalez the final question.

"Do you know how to breathe through your ears?" Dukie asked. Without a word of warning this woman put a peg on her nose and closed her mouth and started breathing through her ears.

Dukie, Honoruru, Lamb and Princess Leah fell to the floor. This time it wasn't from laughter but from amazement. Camilla Gonzalez had the job. She would have to be carted in blindfolded on a rickshaw twice a week after getting to the "Ten Ways". She was happy as she didn't have to sign one of Johnny Howard's AWA's for slave labour and she heard we respected women so she wanted the job.

Camilla Gonzalez had Mexican parents but somehow she turned up looking like this and we weren't about to question her. God knows we all have dubious histories.

All we cared was that we had someone who could cook and clean and was funny. Apparently Camilla's second job was as a stand up comedian and she had also done alot of work on TV. She admitted she had secretly wanted to join the 4064 Squadron for a long time. We didn't know about her joining the Squadron but we'd certainly see how she went over time.

Who cares what she does really? She can breathe through her ears and that is a skill we all want to master.

Goodnight girls. Love you all.

Lukie

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