The Parallel Universe. Part 1.

So we knew we had to head into town and visit the Brains Trust and maybe bust a move on the dancefloor. Whilst the trip was recorded in our travel logs as "reconnaissance" for tax purposes we all know what was really going on.

We'd been in the jungle for way too long and the girls were getting restless. We'd have to leave the treehouse with the PC's for the night.

I notice Princess Leah was putting the police uniform on as I walked past her room. I swear I don't know how she manages to find her cot most nights in that debacle. Anyway that shirt generally means big trouble is on the way. "You'll be keeping them bazooka's tucked away tonight with the safety catch on won't you, Princess" I said as I stopped to admire her eyes. Duke just looked at Princess Leah and together they smiled back at me- "we will use those weapons as our surprise element" they were thinking simultaneously. They have yet to work out I can read their minds.

Typically we head into town on Duke's beast. On nights when we think there will be some sweet action coming home with us we might catch the 375 into town or possibly even a rickshaw. Then we pick up a coffee from Bella to get us some early buzz and hear the word on the street. After we know it's safe we'll head to the Parallel Universe.

I reinforced to everyone the need to behave. Bella had sent us a message through the Telegraph Cucumber that the word on the street is that Princess Leah and Duke had managed to find a Leopard Panzer tank on the black market and everyone is as jealous as all shit. Lamb and I were busy trying to finance and insure it. We couldn't handle any discussion of this whilst everything was so delicately balanced.

I told them no causing trouble and if anyone does corner you tell them we've been on eBay and we're just looking like everyone else is.


So finally I had everyone ready and we decided we'd all hang off Duke's beast into town. On our way into town for a night out Princess always wants to sit facing me with her legs wrapped around me behind Duke. It is my perfume I think and I just let her do what she wants - Duke says its allright as long as she sits still. Lamb sat on the fuel tank with her wild hair blowing in the wind and her AK-47 strung over her shoulder.

We were looking good and smelling pertty after all those months working hard in the jungle and sun and then having a hot tub at the Treehouse before we headed out.

We stopped at The Flat White and caught up with Bella. The word was still out- we had the Panzer and the other chicks weren't happy. How on earth do we get all the good deals? Well its pretty simple but I'm not about to let it our here.

We sat and enjoyed our latte. Oh god that is good I thought to myself. I told Lamb she'd have to get in there and play havoc with Bella's mind and pay her in sexual favours. If the banks were going to be pricks about getting our cash back and we still had to finance the Panzer we needed to be creative.

After she'd paid for the 4 latte's we jumped back onto the beast and Duke gunned it down to the Parallel Universe.

And what happened next would be enough to make you want to join the Liberal party, get a husband with a law degree, a McMansion and BMW X-5 and 3 rug rats to go with it. I thought these girls had put us into slippery situations before- but this was soooorious.