Key to the City

We were waiting just inside the "ten ways" until Maverick and Goose flew over. After that we'd know it was safe to start heading into town.

Princess Leah was driving "Miss Whippy". Princess had her bikini and jungle boots on and an Australia flag cape tied around her neck. Lamb was on the roof in her leather pants,boots and only a bra on top. She had her Italian flag draped over her back like a cape. Of course the AK-47 was over the shoulder and she had her megaphone as well. Dukie had her bike leathers on and was in the back fixing the ice cream machine that seemed to break down frequently. I was looking hot in my camouflage shirt, shorts and Aussie green and yellow thongs. My Luke Skywalker hair was in fine form hanging over my Australia peak cap.

Maverick and Goose flew over and "flaps up girls, you're clear for take-off" came over the radio. We were out on the road, Greensleaves was pumping and the perfect Queensland sun was shining on us. A few clouds indicated we may be experiencing a tropical storm late in the afternoon but by then we'd be back in the Tree House.

The plan was we would drive down Albert St and turn left into Queen St and drive through the crowd lining the streets and then to Eagle St Pier where we would presented with the key to Brisvegas by Captain Bligh (Premier of the Republic of Queensland) and Campbell Newman.

We drove down Albert and turned into Queen St.

"Holy phark, are you sooorioous?" screamed Lamb from the rooftop of Miss Whippy as she looked down Queen St. There were at least 200,000 people in the streets according to my guesstimate. We drove slowly through town and there were streamers and shit flying everywhere.We stopped to give all the kids an ice-cream and it took hours to get to Eagle St but we were having fun.

I knew we had to keep a lookout for Cap'n Dyke and Margo's crew but I thought we'd find them in the Mighty River at Eagle St. We had a secret password sorted with them in case we didn't recognise them.

We eventually made it to Eagle St Pier. Princess Leah had the ice cream van sideways into Eagle St. We came to a thudding halt and fell out to a thundering round of applause. We jumped up to shake hands on the podium with Campbell "Cando" Newman and Captain Bligh. Through the restaurants and bars I could see a magnificent ship and I knew that meant Cap'n Dyke and all were here somewhere. WOO HOO!! It was gonna go off.

Campbell "Cando" gave a great speech about what we had done for tourism and putting Brisbane on the map. Captain Bligh said a heap of cool things as well about environmentally sustainable development in Queensland and how we were leading the pack.

None of us really wanted to give a speech but Lamb said she would. Of course she couldn't use the conventional microphone that everyone else had. Lamb stood on top of Miss Whippy with her megaphone.

She spoke in Italian first and we nearly pissed ourselves laughing as she went on. I managed to find Rocky in the crowd and could see she understood and was laughing hyserically.

When Lamb spoke in English she said:

"I never coulda dreamed when I left Italy 37 years ago, just after being borned I woulda be this famous. I did know, however, that my beauty would be used for World Peace somehow".

"We at the Tree House sooriously believe that Land Rights for Gay Whales is a cause worth fighting for".

"Now the Parallel Universe will be goin' off very soon and we expect to see all of youse there".

I was laughing my arse off. Where did she get "Gay Rights for Land Whales" from? Fighting Japanese whalers was one thing, respecting native title another, and even being gay- but land rights for gay whales really took the cake. And where on earth did the "World Peace" thing come from? Miss Jungle was now thinking she was Miss America.

Anyway so we jumped into Miss Whippy and took off to the Parallel Universe. There were 2000 people dressed as Luke Skywalker, Princess Leah, Duke and every lesbian under the age of 25 was dressed as Lamb with her Cher outfit on. Exactly what Lamb wanted. They had all heard Lamb was in charge of choosing guests for the Tree House party later on and they were sucking up for a ticket. They'd be sucking up later and they had better be careful what they wished for.

I told the girls to look out for Cap'n Dyke in her pirate kit and the girls in chaps.

After a few bevvies Lamb ran over and said "soooriously I thank Cap'n just waltzed in to the Inferno Bar. I sent Princess Leah to check if it was her. We agreed through the net that we had a secret password to confirm who we were. With so many babes dressed as us, they could get chatted up and taken home by anyone.

Princess Leah walked up and said in her best British military accent "I think you are absolutely gorgeous and I'd like to stick it you".

The Cap'n replied "Really, you'd like to give me a jolly good rodgering?".

Princess Leah knew she had the real deal on her hands.

We all met and ordered a new round of Gin and Tonic and some good Pirate XO.

Just as we were laughing our arses off and exchanging some fabulous stories Maverick came up and started trying to chat up Lori from Hahn at Home. This kind of thing made me sick that Mav couldnt just come out as gay and was always trying to prove he wasn't with his "naval aviator" story.

Then he started with his big scientology blast. Lamb jumped in and said "sooriously Mav, you are gonna have to pull your head in. You know these girls all belong to the Church of the Born Again Lesbians ".

Maverick just couldnt let it be and he hated that Lamb was head of the BAL church.

Lamb was the Dalai Lamba, a 5 star lesbian who was annointed as the head of the Lesbian church. She was carried out of Italy by a bunch of lesbians at a very young age when the Catholic Church found out they had her in their country. She was in imminent danger of being drowned or held captive and they wrapped her and carted her to Australia. This is why Lamb is so independent and such a fighter with high gay morals. And all gay morals are high.

I know when this religious shit starts it is time to get out of here. I told Dukie and Princess Leah to get Lamb under control and get us all into Miss Whippy. First of all Cap'n Dyke and her crowd got into Miss Whippy then we packed another 40 babes in. Mav and Goose gave us cover and we headed back to the "ten ways". We did this all quietly and people were not even aware of what we had done. We had a secret exit from the Parallel Universe that the managers let us use.

When we got there we had to transfer to new Transport. Lamb and I still had no idea what we were getting into. Duke jumped out of the front of Miss Whippy at the "ten ways" and ran into the bush. Princess Leah, Duke and I started blindfolding the babes.

We had everyone lined up and Duke came around the corner in the new Transport.

"Holy Phark" I thought. Lamb nearly fell over laughing.

Duke got out and the four of us had high-fives all round and started packing the blindfolded babes into the bus.

We didn't have Honoruru with us and I didn't know where she was but knew she'd find her way when she could.

o