"Sooriously" said Lamb as Princess Leah passed her another Chombard and Lemonade, "I need a lover that won't drive me crazy". Lamb was in the hot tub in the nude and Princess Leah was admiring her fiery italian eyes.
Wilco and Billy Bragg were playing in the background and we were all relaxing.
I was sucking on a very long Gin and Tonic and trying to stay right out of this conversation.
"Lukie, what do you think about this?" asked Duke immediately as she knew I was being quiet for a reason. "Mmmmm mentally scarred- don't go there girls". I replied.
Wilco and Billy Bragg were playing in the background and we were all relaxing.
I was sucking on a very long Gin and Tonic and trying to stay right out of this conversation.
"Lukie, what do you think about this?" asked Duke immediately as she knew I was being quiet for a reason. "Mmmmm mentally scarred- don't go there girls". I replied.
I told Lamb that I was firmly of the opinion that whilst every woman in Brisbane wanted to jump in the hot tub with her, they were all scared off by the ever-present AK-47. "Well it's part of me and they have to get used to it".
Lamb was going to have to make her mind up about that as she said "I just want to sweep a woman off her feet."
"Only because it is much easier when they are horizontal" replied Duke as she opened another can of rocket fuel for herself.
I was laughing my butt off at this banter and it was nice to all be home and chilling out. I didn't care who was after us as the Tree House was safe, clean and we were all together. Lamb was making a big risotto for us for dinner later and we'd eat together.
Duke had a friend, "Baby", coming over who she had saved from another tribe at the Parallel Universe. A few months ago, the "Cunning Linguists" had Baby in the back of the Inferno Bar and were hitting on her pretty hard about the fact she came from Sydenee. The jungle can be a bit cliquey sometimes. We were having a latte at "the Flat White" when Duke heard about a girl in trouble at the Parallel Universe. Duke raced the Beast through the front door, grabbed Baby and threw her on the back. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" said Duke as she screamed back out to The Flat White where we were all having a latte. Yee haa! Baby lived on the other side of town and we let her come over every now and then for a feast. Generally when Baby is over we put on Kylie Minogue and do the "Salsa" on the back deck.
Lamb was going to have to make her mind up about that as she said "I just want to sweep a woman off her feet."
"Only because it is much easier when they are horizontal" replied Duke as she opened another can of rocket fuel for herself.
I was laughing my butt off at this banter and it was nice to all be home and chilling out. I didn't care who was after us as the Tree House was safe, clean and we were all together. Lamb was making a big risotto for us for dinner later and we'd eat together.
Duke had a friend, "Baby", coming over who she had saved from another tribe at the Parallel Universe. A few months ago, the "Cunning Linguists" had Baby in the back of the Inferno Bar and were hitting on her pretty hard about the fact she came from Sydenee. The jungle can be a bit cliquey sometimes. We were having a latte at "the Flat White" when Duke heard about a girl in trouble at the Parallel Universe. Duke raced the Beast through the front door, grabbed Baby and threw her on the back. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" said Duke as she screamed back out to The Flat White where we were all having a latte. Yee haa! Baby lived on the other side of town and we let her come over every now and then for a feast. Generally when Baby is over we put on Kylie Minogue and do the "Salsa" on the back deck.
Lamb told me I had to see the funny side of the Panzer beach incident as it was hysterical. I had to admit I had to chill out, stop worrying, stop working so hard and get back into life. And the mentally scarred bit had to go as well as Princess Leah was intent on making me get back into one of my life's great pashn's- women.
The Telegraph Cucumber started ringing and old Hells Bells was on the line. "What da ya want?" said a Chombard soaked Lamb.
The Telegraph Cucumber started ringing and old Hells Bells was on the line. "What da ya want?" said a Chombard soaked Lamb.
"Well Lamb, Ive got some news for you girls and you aint gonna like it" said Bella.
All we heard next was "ohhh my gooord, are you pharkn sooorious?" as Lamb leapt from the tub, grabbed her AK-47 and started running down the hall naked with a gun and a cucumber in her hands. If it wasnt so soorious it would have been funny.
Lamb dropped the cucumber and turned back to us and said "The Japanese Whaling Society know that Baby is on her way over here and they think they will capture us there when we pick her up to blindfold her- at the top of the Pass".
Duke looked at me and said "What the phark have we done to them?". I wasn't sure but one thing I hoped was that recent conversations with Cap'n Dyke- Pirate Queen- didn't mean we were suddenly going to be fighting for even more causes- including those of the ocean. Holy shit.
"Games on girls!!!" shouted Princess Leah as she "shotgunned" a can of beer. Down in one mouthful. She threw on her bikini and jungle boots, shotgunned another can of beer and grabbed the Panzer keys.
I could see Duke was ready for a biff as well. She threw on her leather jacket and aviator glasses and grabbed a belt full of grenades.
Lamb disappeared to get some kit on. Downstairs I could hear the Panzer warming up. I ran downstairs and jumped in- I had a few cans of Gin and Tonic to put inside the fridge. Princess Leah screamed at Dukie to bring her a 6-pack of Corona and some lemons and a knife.
"Pharkn hell are we fighting a war or going to a party?" screamed Duke as she turned up with a carton of beer. "Be prepared" she said as she dropped the beer in the top of the tank and then started the Beast. Dukie would race off first and do a "recci" and wait for the Panzer.
Well what happened next was a classic moment of jungle warfare. Lamb came down dressed in fishnet stockings, a black leather skirt that barely covered her waist, boots and a leather vest.
She jumped on the top of the Panzer straddling the gun, AK-47 over the shoulder and hair flowing.
Princess Leah quickly flicked the CD onto "If I Could Turn Back Time" from Cher at full volume and we started up the hill.
Lamb screamed back with "I always wanted to be the captain of the Sea Shepherd". .
There is one thing about living with these babes- life is never dull.
All we heard next was "ohhh my gooord, are you pharkn sooorious?" as Lamb leapt from the tub, grabbed her AK-47 and started running down the hall naked with a gun and a cucumber in her hands. If it wasnt so soorious it would have been funny.
Lamb dropped the cucumber and turned back to us and said "The Japanese Whaling Society know that Baby is on her way over here and they think they will capture us there when we pick her up to blindfold her- at the top of the Pass".
Duke looked at me and said "What the phark have we done to them?". I wasn't sure but one thing I hoped was that recent conversations with Cap'n Dyke- Pirate Queen- didn't mean we were suddenly going to be fighting for even more causes- including those of the ocean. Holy shit.
"Games on girls!!!" shouted Princess Leah as she "shotgunned" a can of beer. Down in one mouthful. She threw on her bikini and jungle boots, shotgunned another can of beer and grabbed the Panzer keys.
I could see Duke was ready for a biff as well. She threw on her leather jacket and aviator glasses and grabbed a belt full of grenades.
Lamb disappeared to get some kit on. Downstairs I could hear the Panzer warming up. I ran downstairs and jumped in- I had a few cans of Gin and Tonic to put inside the fridge. Princess Leah screamed at Dukie to bring her a 6-pack of Corona and some lemons and a knife.
"Pharkn hell are we fighting a war or going to a party?" screamed Duke as she turned up with a carton of beer. "Be prepared" she said as she dropped the beer in the top of the tank and then started the Beast. Dukie would race off first and do a "recci" and wait for the Panzer.
Well what happened next was a classic moment of jungle warfare. Lamb came down dressed in fishnet stockings, a black leather skirt that barely covered her waist, boots and a leather vest.
She jumped on the top of the Panzer straddling the gun, AK-47 over the shoulder and hair flowing.
Princess Leah quickly flicked the CD onto "If I Could Turn Back Time" from Cher at full volume and we started up the hill.
Lamb screamed back with "I always wanted to be the captain of the Sea Shepherd". .
There is one thing about living with these babes- life is never dull.
2 comments:
Yerks, methinks this be th'start o'a fine an' heady, smooth-sailin', enemy-nailin' mix o'jungle an' sea, Me Skywalker.
Well held. By th'by, tell Milady Lamb that Th' Cap'n just drowns in dark, Italian eyes...
gday cap'n..... we be think'n it be you and yer crew got us involved in this one- bein' a friend of animals and a seafarer. we proud to be supportn yer..
i'll be telln lamb of your admiration as soon as she peels that catastrophe of an outfit off tonight.
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